Big Small Cats

From Smithsonian.com

Big cats get the lion’s share of our attention. We admire their power, felicity of movement, and striking coats of spots and stripes. But the majority of cat species alive today are small – there are more than thirty species of little cats that prowl landscapes from the Sahara Desert to Siberian forests. And while they might look like the moggies that purr and cuddle on our laps at home, these cats are wildly different, adapted to mimic the calls of their prey, spring astounding distances into the air, and blend into the jungle so thoroughly that even scientists have trouble finding them. Here’s a look at some of the world’s cats that are smaller, but in no way lesser big small cats. To see the rest of the small and powerful click here.

Speaking of talking cats…

You know that sound your Uncle Morty used to make after he had too much food and wine? You don’t have an Uncle Morty?  Well imagine you did and imagine that sound times ten. Now you’re ready to check out the video of lynx talking to each other. You will never complain about Uncle Morty or anyone’s voice ever again.

 

5 Reasons Why Your Cat is a character from Game of Thrones

1. Your cat is constantly plotting for and against you.

2. Your cat knows that he’s the rightful heir to the Iron Throne or any throne.

3. Your cat expects to be waited on paw and paw.

4. Your cat doesn’t want to hear your excuses.

5. Your happiness is none of your cat’s concern.

5 Famous Cat Lovers

Check out these famous friends of felines throughout history.

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  1. Mohammed (570-632) – The founder of the Muslim faith approved of cats but felt dogs were unclean. It is said that he once cut off a sleeve in order not to disturb his sleeping cat.
  2. Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) The statesman enjoyed eating with his ginger kitten, Jock. Servants were often sent to find the pet so meals cound begin.
  3. Abraham Lincoln – Abraham Lincoln’s cat, Tabby, was the first of several White House cats.
  4. Charles Dickens – Charles Dicken’s cat give birth to a litter of cats. Dickens only allowed one of these kittens to remain with its mother. The kitten was known as the ‘Master’s Cat’. The kitten would snuff out Dicken’s candle in order to gain his attention.
  5. Sir Isaac Newton – Sir Isaac Newton, the scientist who first described the principle of gravity, also invented the swinging cat door for the convenience of his many cats.

 

5 More Reasons why your Cat is better than Sex

 

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1. You will never be the father of any of your cat’s kittens.

2. Your cat doesn’t care about the size of your package.

3. You already know your cat won’t call you in the morning or at anytime.

4. You know where your cat has been.

5. Your cat won’t ever accidentally sleep with your sister.

 

5 Reasons Why your Cat is better than Facebook

1. Your cat won’t ever send you a friend request

2. Your cat won’t post pictures of its latest meal in an attempt at culinary Schadenfreude

3. Your cat doesn’t care if you “like” it

4. You’ll know immediately when your cat changes its privacy regulations

5. Your cat won’t ever tag you in pictures that could embarrass, shame or cause a legal action against you.

 

 

Cat imposters cause chaos

Cat Owners Beware! Raccoons are waging a sneaky war to infiltrate, impersonate and insinuate themselves into the lives of cat lovers everywhere. That mask on raccoons faces a coincedence? I think not! Check out this chilling tale of deception below.

Ginny Ballou was half asleep when she reached over to pat her cat, Pretty Boy. Only the long-haired tomcat was nowhere in sight. What Ballou was running her fingers through instead was the coarse fur of a deranged raccoon.

The vicious animal had crept into the house through the cat door on Wednesday morning, sneaking in beside the 73-year-old woman in bed before jumping on Ballou’s face and locking on, said police in Hingam, Mass.

“She had been sleeping on her bed and she thought it was a cat and she went to pat it and found out it was a raccoon,” Sgt. Steven Dearth of the Hingam Police Department told ABC News. “It began to attack her and bit onto her mouth.”

Ballou, her lower lip locked in the jaws of the creature, struggled for a terrifying two minutes before managing to pry the raccoon off with her thumbs and throw it to the floor.

Ballou could not be reached for comment, but her daughter recounted the details of the unnerving ordeal to ABC News affiliate WCVB.

“She used her landline telephone to smash it on the head. It ran out of the bedroom; she closed her door and called 911,” Jen Bowles said.

When Animal Control and environmental police arrived they found the beast, not much bigger than a cat, hiding behind the toilet where they were able to rope and snare it, police said.

Hingham Animal Control Officer Leslie Badger helped subdue the raccoon and take it to a veterinarian where it was euthanized and tested positive for rabies.

“This is a first, to have a situation like this happen,” Badger told WCVB.

Dearth also said this is the first time he’s ever experienced this type of situation in all his time as a police officer.

“This is a unique occurrence and something you would not expect, especially with a small pet door,” said Dearth. “She’s had this cat door for 20 years and never had any issues with anything coming in.”

Ballou received the first of a number of required rabies shots on Wednesday and was released from hospital later that night. She is at home recuperating from her injuries which include puncture wounds on her thumbs and fingers, stitches to a gash on her lip and scratches on her face and neck.

5 Reasons Why your Cat is Better than your Ex

1. Your cat won’t ever “forget” to take/put on birth control.

2. Your cat won’t TiVo over Game of Thrones/Scandal and pretend it was an accident.

3. If your cat has a problem with you you’ll know immediately. Your cat can’t spell passive aggressive.

4. Your cat doesn’t want to change you. It only wants you to change the kitty litter.

5. Your cat doesn’t compare you to other humans. As far as your cat is concerned all humans are hopeless.

Next week 5 Reasons Why Your Cat is Better than your Boss

 

Would you pay $30,000 for a custom made cat?

According to the article below from Examiner.com that’s exactly what some people are doing, paying $30 grand for house cats that look like wild cats. Seriously how cray-cray is this? If you had an extra $30,000 burning a hole in your tailored leather pants would you pay for a custom designed cat? Let us know what you think of this hot new fad.

Exotic breeds illegal

The cats might look like leopard cats, however they are house cats; and apparently they are becoming a new popular trend. Animal behaviorist Dr. Stephen Zawistowski says:

What people are trying to do is replicate a wild cat look in a smaller cat, through several generations of back-crossing through the domestic cat, you can sort of dilute the wildness out of that line of cats, but try and keep that physical appearance.

These cats are going for as much as $30,000; Phyllis Reichelt breeds hybrid cats and says:

Consumer demand is high; it is very surprising how many people want them

Dr. Zawistowski told Dana Tyler at CBS:

There are people who are — at 2 o’clock in the morning on the Upper West Side — they’re walking one of these cats on a harness

Reichelt the breeder says:

Hybrids are more wild than your average house cat; you have to know what you’re getting into and be prepared for it.”

Cat behaviorist Marilyn Krieger says:

A lot of people unfortunately get them for the wrong reasons; some of the exotic cats may end up at wildlife sanctuaries, many who are abandoned wind up being euthanized.

Zawistowski said:

People want to have them because they’re different, because they’re different and they’re not legal, it’s not as if you can really show them off.”

Puss in Books

While Sweet Little Black Kitty is the worlds first feline poet cats have a long history in literature. Periodically we’ll feature some favorites. Let us know who your favorite puss in books are. Thanks Flavorwire.

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The Master and Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov

The greatest cat in all of literature might just be Behemoth, the gun-crazy, vodka-swilling, wisecracking feline — a kind of cracked Puss-in-Boots — that pals around with Satan in the 1930s Moscow of Bulgakov’s classic. He’s also, as his name suggests, rather enormous. And he won’t let you forget it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes a cat is not a cat

From Shouts and Murmurs an exploration by John Hodgman about watching Downton Abbey with cats. What do you watch with your cats? Tell us in the comments.

Look, I never want to tell stories about my children, because it always seems a little lazy. Children tend to be sort of dumb, and, in the end, the stories are always the same: children say hilarious things, and I am old and dying.

So when I tell you these stories about my children let’s just pretend they are about my cats.

So my cats and I were watching “Downton Abbey” last year. (I have two cats, one girl cat, who is twelve—in cat years, obviously—and a boy cat, who is seven.) And at one point my younger cat turned to me and said, “What is that human woman trying to say to that other man?”

And I said, “That is Mary Crawley. She is trying to tell Matthew that she is in love with him.”

And my younger cat thought about it and said, “Well, that is a very hard thing to do.” And then he said, “You have to pick just the right time.”

Then my older cat turned to him and said, “WILL YOU BE QUIET, PLEASE?”

Here’s another story.

I was watching “Downton Abbey” with my cats, and in one episode Anna (a human on the show) tells her fiancé, Mr. Bates, not to worry about her, because she is “a trouper.”

And my younger cat turned to me and said, “What’s a ‘trouper’?”

I had to think about it. I explained to my younger cat that a trouper is someone who has a job that isn’t easy or fair, and he doesn’t want to do it, but he is going to do it anyway.

And then a long time passed—whole scenes of “Downton Abbey” strolled elegantly by—before my younger cat said quietly, to himself, “Sometimes I am a trouper.”

Adorable, right? Cats say the darnedest things.

And then my older cat told my younger cat, “BE QUIET, ALREADY,” and suggested that he not watch the show until he is intelligent enough to understand it.

My older cat hates it when my younger cat watches “Downton Abbey” with us, because watching “Downton Abbey” makes her feel grownup, and his presence robs her of this illusion. This occasionally makes her very cruel.

One time when I was watching “Downton Abbey” with my cats, and they were bickering, I told her, “You better watch out. You’re starting to act a little like Mary Crawley.” Which is to say: like a bitch. Now, this is not something you could ever say to a child, but when you say it to a cat it’s hilarious, because it is literally ironic.

And she said, “I know, I’m sorry.” And I realized that watching “Downton Abbey” with my cats allowed me to speak more plainly with my cats than ever before.

One night while watching “Downton Abbey” with my cats, I had a profound experience of déjà vu. I suddenly had this flash memory of myself, as a child, when I used to watch the PBS show “Upstairs, Downstairs” with my cats.

(Of course, in this case, and this case only, when I say “my cats” that is a euphemism for “my parents.”)

I am an only child. And when you are an only child you have an unusual relationship with your parents. There are only the three of you, and you come to rely on one another for company as much as for anything else. You spend a lot of time travelling together, going to movies together, and watching public television together, with your dinner in your lap. Your mother and father are not so much your parents as they are your weird, older roommates. Or, better, a pair of older cats who wander in and out of the rooms of your house. They silently judge you, but they can’t stop you from whatever it is you’re going to do.

You would think that this sudden memory of watching “Upstairs, Downstairs” with my cats would have been comforting—to know that this tradition of watching British period drama together would be passed down from generation to generation, from cat to son to cat.

But it was not comforting. It was horrible.

Because it made me realize that “Downton Abbey” and “Upstairs, Downstairs” are the same thing. They are the exact same television show: about an aristocratic family living through the early twentieth century, their lives entwined with those of a plucky, makeshift family of servants below them. First World War. Love. Troupers. All of it the same.

And it made me understand: no matter what you do or make in life, it will be forgotten. And then people will just make it again and pretend that what you did never happened.

And, just as in any story about your cats, I realized that the subtext is: Cats are hilarious and I am dying, I am dying, I am dying. Which is not something you should really whisper to yourself in front of your cats while watching “Downton Abbey.” It tends to spook them. And then they get mange.

Final story: I was watching the season première of “Downton Abbey” with my cats, and as the opening credits rolled we just shook our heads. My cats and I agree: we don’t need to see that dog’s ass anymore. ♦

Read more: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2014/01/13/140113sh_shouts_hodgman?printable=true&currentPage=all#ixzz2qOqwh3D0